Hi guys. Today I am going to go through my mental health story. Since starting my blog I have become so much more open and honest about my mental health. This is all down to the amazing community I have become a part of.
Every blogger I have met along these three months have all been so sweet, caring and understanding. I have connected with so many people who also suffer from mental illness. I have never felt so welcomed into a community before.
In February while my parents were going through a court battle for custody between my siblings and I, I was suffering really bad and started visiting a counsellor. I had never visited a counsellor before and I was terrified.
My mum came along with me because the counsellor I had liked to meet with the teenager and parent to get a mutual understanding of the situation that needed to be addressed.
For my first meeting we just had a general talk about who I am and why I’m in counselling and had some forms to fill out with my mum. As soon as I started to talk about my life I burst into tears.
It was really weird. I am always so determined to never cry in front of anyone. I was a blubbering mess, tears streaming down my face and lets no talk about the other fluids from my nose!
Each Thursday I would get on the bus and head into Longford for my counselling session. I was my day for release. I always went in built up with so much stress and tension and end up walking out exhausted, empty and cried out.
Counselling is a great way to get all the bad stuff out in the open and get some real insight and help to deal with those problems/worries.
When going to counselling I wasn’t diagnosed with a mental illness. As the court battle started to get worse and the stress was getting so bad I had to go to the doctor. I wasn’t eating, sleeping, concentrating in school or anything at all.
When I went to the doctor she immediately put me on anti- depressants and was sending a letter to a young adult mental health organisation to try and give me some extra support.
Medication is not a quick fix. It doesn’t “cure” your depression at all. All this medication does is take the edge off your depression so you can function normally throughout the day.
When I first started taking my medication it made me sleepy all the time. I was only taking a low dosage as you have to build your medication up slowly depending on the amount of help that you need.
With antidepressants you need to be really careful. If you have just started taking medication please read the leaflet and make sure someone around you knows the affects the medication can have on you.
There is no guide to tell the doctor what medication to give you for the level of depression you have. There is no indicators for this type of illness. It is all trial and error. You may be lucky enough to get the help you need with your first dosage and batch of medication but sadly that might not be the case.
Don’t give up. It will be trial and error. My only advice is if you feel even more depressed or suicidal please go to your doctor right away! Your medication will need to be reassessed.
As I previously mentioned my doctor referred me to a young adult mental health service. About two weeks after I began taking my medication I got my appointment to visit their clinic. I was scared because I had no idea what they were or what they were going to do.
I was also optimistic because they were going to be another support system to help me. My first appointment went well. I was with my mum and three doctors in a room. They were asking me a ton of questions to try and understand my depression.
I cried a bit during this time but I felt better leaving. A week or two later I had another appointment and it all changed.They told me I wasn’t depressed, I didn’t have a mental illness and I needed to stop taking the medication.
I was in shock. They had spoken to my dad and he had told them a bunch of lies. No surprise that they believed him. He is and always has been a great manipulator. My mum and I were disgusted with the way they treated me. I felt like I was being stepped on and crushed.
My GP wasn’t that much help so I was depressed, seeing a counsellor and not getting any other help. I was a mess. I made an appointment with another GP at the doctor surgery to discuss what was going on.
This doctor was so sweet, understanding and willing to help. She put me back on my medication and every month she would meet me to discuss my medication and readjust if I needed it to be adjusted.
This year has been full of ups and downs but has been so much better than the last few years. I have finished school, passed my exams which I was convinced I was going to fail, started my blog, met the love of my life, made some amazing new friends and found my new life long passion that I want to make my career.
Each and everyone of us can get through this. It will be a tough and a long battle is ahead of you but you can get through it. I am here if anyone ever needs to talk. You can contact me through twitter, facebook, instagram and my email.
Please like/comment/subscribe and share if you enjoy these posts. Read here for more mental health posts. If you ever need help at any time please look here for more information and any help that you may need.