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An odd anniversary I’m celebrating

Today marks a very special day for me. This day last year I dragged myself out of bed after barely sleeping a wink that night. Today was the day I had to go to court and give evidence against my abusive father. I was terrified. It’s a very odd anniversary I’m celebrating but the 18th of December marks a huge milestone in my life.

 

The odd anniversary I am celebrating- winning a year-long court battle against my abusive father.

 

My two younger siblings had to visit my father due to the court ruling in my father’s favour in early September. We were all devasted. They had no say in the matter although they didn’t want to visit him. It didn’t take long for them to come back and tell us that he was up to his old tricks. Mum and I had to take action. We ended up having to go back to court early and trying to fight for a safety and protection order against him.

 

They were granted to us.

Unfortunately, they were only temporary until the next court date because he had the right to defend himself. Another month came and went and we were back in court facing him once again. The judge couldn’t decide on what he wanted to do so he ordered that on the 18th of December that my three younger siblings and I would have to go into court and talk to the judge.

 

It was absolutely terrifying. My brother and I went in first because we were the oldest. I did not expect what the judge was going to do. Anytime I spoke he cut me off, he wouldn’t let me speak and I became a water fountain of tears. I was inconsolable. The judge did that to gauge our reaction to seeing what happens when confronted.

 

We thought we had lost and we were all destroyed. I didn’t think he believed what we tried to say. A half hour later I received a phone call off my mum to tell us that we had won.

 

I couldn’t believe it

 

I was convinced that we had lost due the way the judge treated me. My younger siblings never had to see him again thankfully. Although we won the year-long court case I would never want anyone who went through the abuse and trauma we all went through and be treated the way we were to the judge. It was horrible and destroyed me. Before this court date I wanted to become a lawyer but after the 18th of December, I knew I could never be a part of that system and let anyone else being treated that way.

 

Although we win I was destroyed by the judge. No victim should ever have to go through what we did. During one of the hardest moments of my life, speaking about the abuse I endured and the judge treated us the way he did. I was disgusted.

 

Abuse needs to discuss and that’s why the 18th of December is an odd anniversary that I’m celebrating. Read my story of abuse. Do you have any odd anniversaries that you celebrate? Let me know in the comments!

 

With love,

Anne xxx

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17 thoughts on “An odd anniversary I’m celebrating

  1. I have started to write a post which I am going to finish – at some point when I have chance – about the secrecy of family courts. I can’t tell you my story but it is as equally horrifying and unbelievable as yours. Something needs to be done soon to stop the bias and secrecy of these courts and make them much more transparent. I really feel for you with your father. I had a similar case with my Mother and I was forty before I finally drew a line under it all.

  2. Wow today is a big day for you! I’m amazed at how positive you are about it, I can’t even begin to imagine how tough that was for you. Honestly I’m in awe. Well done girl. You’re a pretty amazing person xx

  3. You are such a brave person! I’ve never had to go to court before but I’m sure I’d break down too if I was treated the same. It’s crazy that they seem to think that intimidation should work in such cases.

  4. I am so proud of you and your family! I still trying to fight my battle with my father, he’s been gone for a year, but a small piece of me still thinks I was wrong to call the police

  5. 26th of the month is another month I am clean of self harm.
    26th December 2018 I will be 12 months (a year) clean.
    Your very brave Anne and I am so proud of you xx

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