My whole life I have been misunderstood with the exception of two or three people in my life. I’ll admit I have never had many friends and at this moment my friends are very limited. My boyfriend is my best friend as I’ve mentioned before he lives in New Zealand and my other friend lives in England. I have never been good at making friends so online was a place for me to find friends. This is a letter to the people who don’t understand me.
It’s okay that you don’t understand me. I don’t expect you to. Just respect the decisions that I make and let me live the way I want. Don’t sit and judge me for creating my blog, not going to university or having a long distance relationship. I am happy with how my life is and I don’t need your judgement.
I can’t just stop taking my pills.
Mental health can be difficult to understand when you don’t suffer it but trust me I can’t just get over it. Every single day I need to swallow four pills that help take the edge off my depression and suicidal thoughts.
Although I hate having to depend on pills it needs to be done just like any other illness. If I don’t take these pills I can fall into a black hole inside my mind and probably wouldn’t be able to cope with the depression or the thoughts that whirl through my head each and every day.
I can’t just get over and forget about the abuse I endured.
I have hidden the abuse that I have suffered for 17 years. Never speaking about it and locking it away didn’t mean I got over it. Those memories of abuse are slowly coming back each and every day. Memories that I had completely forgotten about. As they come back I need to deal with them and try and cope with the flashbacks.
I can’t just move on with my life. Unless you have lived in an abusive home or been in an abusive relationship you have no fucking idea what it is like so don’t sit there and judge me for trying to talk about my abuse. I try and talk it through so I can come to terms with the memories. I have been abused for 17 years that will never go away but I will get through it eventually. I’ll never just forget it or get over it.
I am in a long distance relationship because he is worth the distance.
I don’t care about what you think of my relationship. Ryan has been my rock for three years. I love him and he loves me. What you think doesn’t matter or dampen my relationship. I’m happy and that’s all that matters.
Yes, a long distance relationship isn’t your conventional type of relationship. It’s hard but he is worth it. We will end up living together it may just take us longer to do that. You have no say in my relationship. So snigger, laugh and roll your eyes at us all you want but trust me I don’t care.
So for the people who don’t understand me and like to judge me. I don’t care. If you aren’t happy with how I am living my life get out of it. I am 18 years old and I can do as I please.