Relationships

How to survive a long distance relationship.

When I first began my long distance relationship I was worried what people would think.I know it’s not the conventional relationship but they do work!  If you’re in an LDR too you’ll know what I mean by this. The sniggers, the jokes about it not being a real relationship. I had to deal with a lot of this during my time in school but I learned to ignore it. I was happy so fuck them.

I’ve been in other long distance relationships and they didn’t work. Due to these I have learned a lot on how to survive a long distance relationship. Ryan and I have been together seven months. In all honesty we were in a relationship before this for seven months but there was a lot of problems between us.

I knew Ryan was the one for me and I am lucky enough he felt the same so we began our relationship again. This time around we made sure we discussed what we both needed in the relationship for it to work this time.

A long distance relationship needs communication.

For Ryan and I this was really difficult for us to do. When we had problems or something was upsetting us, we would both bottle it up and not say anything until the bottle was full and exploded. The explosion would almost always be on my side and then we would both end up in a long running argument for three or four days.

This ended badly for us. We are both very stubborn and would refuse to appear weak to one another.

Communication is the key to a good relationship even more so in a long distance relationship. When you’re upset, feeling your mental health take over, get upset by something your partner has said, etc, you NEED to talk to your partner in a cool, calm way.

Text messages can be interpreted the wrong way and can end up in a fight. Communication is key. Ryan and I have been together seven months and we are communicating each and every time we need to and we have had no arguments at all.

Long distance relationship

A LDR needs trust.

Trust is crucial. It can be tough when you’re so far apart. You’re mind can wander about what they’re doing during the day, etc. What you need to do is to trust your partner. Why would they commit yourself to you and the distance if they were going to do anything to hurt you.

I know trusting your partner can take time but communication like I mentioned above is KEY. I can’t reiterate it enough. If you’re feeling anxious or worried about what’s going on talk to your partner.

They will calm your anxiety and show you why you should trust them

A long distant relationship needs honesty.

Has your partner done something that has upset you? Have they said something that hurt? Be honest and tell. They won’t be able to fix it if you’re not honest and open.

You need to be honest so trust can be earned. Be open and be honest! You can’t build a relationship on a foundation of lies or dishonesty.

A LDR needs planning.

LDR’s can be so difficult due to the uncertainty around meeting, spending time together or beginning the process of moving closer to your love.

For me this part is torture for me. For any of you who know me well you know I am a meticulous planner and organiser. I hate not having a plan set in plan that I can work towards to make it become a reality.

Ryan and I found it quite difficult to deal with this so we both decided to begin planning our future. So our plan so far involves that I get my working holiday visa and spend a year with Ryan in New Zealand. The year together will then determine what visa I go for next. During my stay we will both travel around New Zealand when we both aren’t working.

When Ryan was here and we were travelling around Ireland on our road trip and exploring Dublin we both talked these plans through together. It was a great way to become close to one another.  

This really helps me focus on when we will be together and it really helps me get through the rough days when I’m missing him. Short term pain for long term gain.  

A long distance relationship needs a routine.

Time zones can suck. Ryan and I have to work with a 13 hour time difference. What helps us with this time difference is having a routine. We both know when our alarms go off in the morning.

Ryan doesn’t have time in his morning/my evening to skype because he gets up really early to go for a workout before work. So almost every morning if I don’t have to bring my siblings to school we skype for an hour or so before he goes to sleep.

Creating a routine really helps with having you time with your partner. Work out when you both are free and schedule a video call or a phone call. A routine always helps.

There you have it! Five tips to help you survive a long distance relationship. Are you in a LDR? How do you survive it? 

With love,

Anne xx 

long distance relationship

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4 thoughts on “How to survive a long distance relationship.

  1. I can’t believe that time difference Anne! Must be so hard, but it sounds like you two are so willing to make it work and that makes me so happy. These are also great tips, I don’t know how good I would be in a LDR!

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