My whole life I have tried to do what’s best for everyone around me especially for my friends and family. I’d do anything in my power to make sure that they were happy and forget about my own thoughts and feelings. I was a friend and a big sister, that’s the job description right? I took the hits, I took the blame for my sibling’s misbehaviour because I couldn’t stand seeing them hurt by my father. I did what I had to do. It takes a lot to put yourself first. I have begun to put myself first in the past few months andI’m going to show you that it is important to put yourself first and how to start today.
Reasons why you should put yourself first.
You have one life to live
We all have one life to live, we simply can not do everything for everyone. It is our lives that means we have to put ourselves first. I know that it can be tough to be selfish and put yourself first rather than the people around you. It’s time for you to be selfish and do things for you.
Your time is limited so don’t waste it living someone else’s life
~ Steve Jobs
No one knows when it’s time for us to pass on, our life is limited and it’s so important that we don’t leave this earth with a huge list of regrets that we wish we did while we had the chance. I’m not saying that you just push everyone away and do your own thing this just means that you make yourself a priority instead of others. Putting yourself first doesn’t mean you don’t care about others. It means you’re smart enough to know you can’t help others if you don’t help yourself first.
People take your generosity for granted
When you help people out, they become so accustomed to you doing what they need doing that they start to take you for granted. It may be accidental or it could be on purpose. Kindness is a sign of weakness these days unfortunately
You become a shell of the real you
When you spend all your time doing the things that others want you to do. You forget what you love to do, you forget all about your passions and the joy you have at living life and just become a shell of your former self and forget the person that you used to be.
How to put yourself first
There are many ways that you can put yourself first and take your life back into your own hands and below are only a few of the ways that you can do this. These are the ways that I used t start putting myself first.
Start saying no
Start by saying no to the things you don’t like doing or feel uncomfortable doing. I know that it can be terrifying to say no to a friend or family member but it needs to be said. Saying no doesn’t have to be mean or cruel you can simply say “ no” and there you go.
Don’t make up excuses as to why you can’t do them this favour, it opens up a conversation that could end up in you eventually saying yes just to get them to leave you alone.
It’s simple. Saying no is self-care, it’s making sure that you are only doing things that you want to do instead of feeling shit and regretting saying yes to a friend or family member.
Just remember you know what is best for you. You need to take care of yourself because no else is going to, Stay true to yourself and everything will work out in the end.
Do what you love and enjoy
It’s time for you to take up on that new hobby that you have always wanted to try, to get back into going to the gym or getting through your book pile, no matter what it is, do it. It’s time for you to enjoy your life and do all the things you love and have a passion for. It can be as small or as big as you want as long as you love and enjoy doing it. It’s your time to live and enjoy life to the fullest as we all should while we can.
“ You are not required to set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm ”
Avoid the people who take and do not give back in return
If you are truly uncomfortable with saying no and need to practice and become more comfortable in the art of saying no, it is probably best to avoid those people who always ask things of you until you can politely tell them to fuck off, aka no.
Make sure that you put yourself first and take care of yourself!